April 7, 2011
-
Meltdowns
Mazie had a complete meltdown at the grocery store yesterday. I knew I was pushing my luck by going there so close to lunch and nap time. I think I handled it appropriately though. Isn't there some kind of manual out there? I need a manual!! She said she didn't want the sticker that the cashier gave her so I took it then she flipped out. I told her that it's ok to change her mind and to be frustrated but it's never ok to scream and flail about. She calmed down and said that she did in fact want the sticker so I gave it to her but she refused to take it and flipped out again. What? So, I took the sticker and threw it in the trash and explained to her that she lost her sticker privilege by flipping out again. I know it's hard to be two years old and not have the ability to explain what's going on. I always try to give her that opportunity, but I am not going to stand in the parking lot of Owen's for 10 minutes taking and giving the same sticker, you know? She has to learn how to communicate effectively and it's my job to teach her. I can't do this if I allow her to get her way for the sake of peace and quiet. (But, oh man ... it's tempting and I understand why so many parents give in to their children. The quiet is only temporary though if you do things that way.) She also had a meltdown as we were leaving the Y and I told her that if she didn't calm down that she couldn't push the button to open the door. Inside I was like, 'Please calm down so you can push the button and make this easy on all of us'. Nope. She didn't calm down so we left the Y as she was crying and whining. Loudly. That girls' got a set of lungs. It's quite impressive actually. When we got out to the car I explained that it's ok to be sad and angry but never ok to scream, etc. and that if she had calmed down she could have pushed the button.
Next time we go to the Y or the store I will do more pre-teaching (again) about the expectations and the rewards that go along with meeting those expectations and the consequences that go along for not.
I am looking at every meltdown as an opportunity for teaching her how to deal with life and its frustrations. Right? Yeah, that's the spirit! Mazie is usually just the sweetest little girl ... she says hi to everyone and smiles constantly. She is a little darling that is full of passion. Her passion often times becomes overwhelming when she is dealing with negative emotions though and I'm teaching her how to take it all in stride. She's got a lot of spirit for a two year old.When we finally got back and were walking into the house Freya was crying in her carseat and Mazie was walking beside me crying and I was also shedding a few silent tears. Guh. Nate sent me many encouraging texts so that helped a lot. He thinks I'm doing a fine job and that means so much to me because they are his daughters, too. He's proud of his baby mama.
Being an effective parent is not a job for the weak, that's for sure.
Comments (2)
Amen to that. It's nice to hear other moms' stories. I think your plan of pre-teaching expectations is smart. I finally learned to do that before taking the three of them into the library (after several embarrassing visits where I felt like one of "those" mothers)... They're so willing and eager to behave well when they're prepped beforehand...like they want to prove themselves the worthy children they think themselves. Sometimes they forget before the visit is over, but it does help, and they're more open to reminders. I much prefer the preteaching scenario to the fuming mother driving her brood home in stony silence after a horrible library visit scenario. Heh.
none of what you do is for the "faint of heart".
your cause is noble. and you are worthy!
go, Suze, go!!
you are very motivated.
Comments are closed.