December 8, 2011

  • After many lovely years on the xanga it’s time to move on. Something new and fresh. I might be back sometimes, who knows … in the meantime you can find me here:

    the daily vibrant

    Bye, xanga. You were good while you lasted.

December 7, 2011

  • I’m thinking of moving my blog. The old xanga’s getting kind of rusty. I have a lot of readers (mostly stalkers and people I don’t know) so hopefully they’ll move with me.

    I’m going to try to update more often.

    That’s about all for now. It’s time for bed.
    I hope Nate’s ready for bed as well because my feet are cold.

December 5, 2011


  • Nate trimming our tree
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    Mazie and Freya
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    Freya really likes to be contained …
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    The tree
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December 4, 2011

  •  

    Freya always shares her food with people around her. She thinks it’s really funny.
    Here she is sharing her bday cake with her cousin Kelsey.

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    DSC_2209

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December 3, 2011

  • EDIT: Yesterday Nate came home from work and gave me a big hug first thing. He hadn’t even read this post yet … he’s the best.

    I’m sad. I work so hard and feel un(der)appreciated. I’m sure no one wants to hear my sob story so I’ll spare you the boring, whoa is me details. You’re welcome. I HOPE YOU APPRECIATE IT.

    Thanksgiving in Indiana pictures… I apparently didn’t take that many.

    Balloons for Freya’s party

    Rousing game of Qwirkle

December 1, 2011

November 29, 2011

  • Our daughters are the most precious of our treasures, the dearest possessions of our homes and the objects of our most watchful love.  Margaret E. Sangster

November 28, 2011

  • Thanksgiving on the farm

    After Thanksgiving dinner (which I ate normally!!) we sat around and perused through the sales flyers for various stores around town. (They have really great stores in town) I opted out of the midnight shopping excursion and instead met them for breakfast around 5 a.m. Who’s smart? Me.
    Oh, Wednesday night us kids went out on the town and stayed up ridiculously late. And when I say ridiculous, I mean it. It was fun though … wish I would have remembered my camera!!

    Black Friday sales searching. A family ordeal

    Freya’s bday party prep

    Birthday girl enjoyed the cupcake
    Sort of … she had to go to bed soon after this because two
    celebrations in one day are hard on the little tikes

    Grandma Teri and Mazie

    Freya assessing the playtime damage

    Woohoo turkey high

    Turkey low

November 26, 2011

November 21, 2011

  • I’m leaving for the farm tomorrow. Nate’s youngest brother is going to meet the girls and I about halfway and then Nate is coming there on Wednesday evening. I can’t wait to relax while Grandma does her thing and dote all over my kiddos. On Wednesday night we’re supposed to go out with Nate’s cousin-brother and his wife (whom is more like a sister-in-law than a cousin-in-law, confused yet?) to celebrate Thanksgiving eve. Should be a blast.
    I met with Ann (nutrition therapist) this morning in Fort Wayne (recovery is expensive). It was a very insightful session and we discussed how the more I am “ok” with myself, the more “ok” I am with the rest of life. This leads me to some reflection on the Master Cleanse Nate and I just finished up ..

    The Official Master Cleanse Reflection Summary followed by some other insightful rambling.
    Here goes.

    The last time I did the MC I was in the throes of food restriction. Restriction to lose weight, but moreso restriction to feel “ok” about myself. The more restrictive I was and the more consistent I was in working out, the more at peace I felt. Is this a bad thing? Well, no, not entirely. I believe God called me to show restraint and self-discipline, but I wasn’t motivated for the right reasons. I was motivated by a need to feel normal and ok with me. This time around on the MC I was so borrrrrrred. I didn’t feel any more self-worth or more at peace with myself because I was being restrictive and losing weight. I guess that’s not where I find my security anymore. On Wednesday I cleaned the house and sat back to reflect on my environment when it dawned on me that I really didn’t feel any different about myself than I did before I cleaned. So, there I was not eating, losing weight and wandering around a perfectly clean house yet I didn’t feel the same sort of false satisfaction or shallow joy. WHAT? Clean house, no food, baggie pants and no boost in self-worth or security? You know why? Because that’s not where it’s at for me anymore. I don’t need these external actions to determine my mood or my peace or my groundedness.
    Heading into Thanksgiving I’m feeling a little shaky about what to do with all of the food amongst the chaos of family, traveling, etc. I asked Nate what he does (normal eater alert) when confronted with a big spread of tasties and he said, “Well, I look at everything. Choose some foods because they provide good fuel and then choose some other things that I really want. I leave the rest behind. If I’m still hungry after that I’ll get some more. If not, I’ll wait to eat again later.” Smart man, that Nate. He’s become my accountability partner (with benefits!) in this thing and I actually have learned so much from him about eating. I’ve made the commitment to not binge/purge this holiday season. Its been years since I’ve done that (I did one time when I was on a super diet. wrong motivation). It helps me beyond words to know that Nate supports and encourages me in this. Also, my parents have changed their ways and my mom weighs less than she has in 20 years. She’s losing weight by eating normally. The only snack food she bought for the holiday was pretzels. What a difference from the last hundred years. My parents’ example along with Nate’s sincere counsel along with my dear friends from recovery group along with my God that loves me beyond measure are carrying me through this.
    This Thanksgiving will be the most normal Thanksgiving ever. I’m so excited.