April 10, 2011

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  EDIT: I took Freya to the Dr. to have her ears looked at and discovered that she has lost a pound since her last visit a month ago. I am now at complete peace about supplementing with formula. She is eating so well and only woke up once last night. Now we both feel better.

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  My goal after bedtime tonight (along with the laundry and dishes) is to put some pics and/or videos up.

  My heart is rather heavy right now ... last week I noticed that my milk supply was dipping and I have decided to not pump and spend money on herbs, etc. this time. The last time my supply started to dip I pumped 5-6 times a day (and took different galactogoues) and ended up with a surplus (and was able to donate 100 oz!!), but it was very, very time consuming and expensive. I'd say I pumped for an average of 1.5 hours a day.

  I was up in the middle of the night on Thursday wrestling over my options and weighing the pros and cons. Freya had woken up (again) and spent about 15 minutes trying to eat .... finally I just laid her down next to me, got her back to sleep and fed her again about an hour later. It is so frustrating/saddening/disappointing to see my baby struggling to get something to eat only to be end up empty and crying.

  I talked to Nate and my mom on Friday and they both support me in my decision to transition to formula (organic formula for now. no need to bombard her little body with a bunch of crap right off the bat). I also met with two of my mom friends and they helped me sort through my feelings of guilt and sadness. Breastfeeding is something that is very dear to me. I am so thankful that I have been able to breastfeed this time around and that I made it to four months!

  In the end I know that it will all end up ok and that Freya will turn out just fine, but I'm just still working through it for now.

  • 2:10 pm
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