Here is a very tender video memorial that Jeremy made for his triplet boys.

www.tipsontriplets.com

I've said before and I'll say it again ...
Do not take these days for granted.
Love passionately.
Keep growing!
Laugh readily.
Hold on tight!

My new (indoor/low lighting) camera lens FINALLY came in!!!!!!!!! You can expect more pics now that I can actually take them inside!!!!!!!!

Today I was thinking about this whole food "thing". Thing? Do I call it a thing? I don't know. Anyway, while I was cutting up strawberries to put in my salad today I remembered a time when all I ate was strawberries, provolone cheese and walnuts. It was the summer I left my ex and it was the only thing I could deal with. For like three weeks ... strawberries, cheese and walnuts and LOTS of it. Strange that I grabbed (haha. grabbed) on to something like that and found so much comfort in it.
There is nothing wrong with eating foods that bring us comfort. That's normal. All in balance and moderation ... being mindful about what we're eating and why ... not eating in chaos and for distraction.
Last weekend was really tough and I emailed Ann (nutrition therapist) and she had the following to say ...

Remember, your past does not define who you are now.
The "old" way never worked, and never will.
You do not need food to cope, because food just does not have
the ability to provide clarity and purpose.
Food just muddies your ability to see/feel your true purpose.
If you want pizza, ice cream . . . eat them with attention, not chaos.
Ask for help from people around you that you trust and love.

Food is not a friend, but it's not an enemy. It just is. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's boring. Sometimes it's comforting, sometimes it's simply there to satiate our hunger.
Food is a gift from God and we are meant to enjoy it, not abuse it.

Everyday I'm a little bit closer to complete recovery.

Here's a little video I made for Nate

Another post without pictures or videos? I know. I'm ashamed ... I feel my readership dwindling as I type this, before I've even hit 'save'. My goal during nap time tomorrow is to put some pictures up and boy, do I have some cute ones. For now, you are subjected to merely words so I will keep it short and simple.
Freya is sleeping in the nursery tonight and not our room. She's been sleeping in there during the day for some time, but tonight is her first overnight. I'm sad. This phase is always tough for me to let go of. I know that it's time and if I wait longer I'm subjecting us all to a bad habit that could potentially be a real pain to break. (Like the swaddling thing. Next baby, no swaddling. Remind me.)
I just looked over at Nate, who is lounging on the couch, and he is on his side with one leg up in the air, stretching. He's frozen like that. I'm not sure if I should say anything or not. Oh, he's done. Here goes ...
Me: How was your stretch?
Nate: It was good. It stretched.
And this is why I love my husband (besides all that junk like he's handsome, tall, selfless, gentle, etc.) because he doesn't waste time on unnecessary words. Boom. There it is. Good. It stretched. If he were to ask me I would go into detail about what it was exactly that I was stretching and what the cause was behind my need to stretch and so on. I make up for a lot of unused words in this house.
I suppose this post, which I was going to keep short and simple, is proof of my knack for wordiness.

Last night I got the best sleep I've had in a long time! I feel so much better ... I've been so exhausted lately. Pregnancy kind of exhausted. Maybe today I'll be more awake and clear. My workout was great. I'm sitting here in my sweaty clothes, in the dark (very cloudy today) while everyone sleeps. I have such good sleepers here.
I think Freya's going to start consistently sleeping 12 hours now that she's on solids. Speaking of Freya, that girl doesn't seem to like fruit much. I think she's a whole grain cereal and veggies girl. Both of my kids love their veggies ... the other day Mazie asked for vegetables for dinner. And ... speaking of Mazie, she is such a good girl. She follows instructions so well! We moved her crib so it is near the window and explained to her that she's not allowed to touch the blinds or curtains and she hasn't even attempted to do so. She's usually very obedient. She's also sooooo sweet. The other day I was talking to Nate and I started crying. She said, "Oh, no. Mommy sad. Here Mommy" and gave me a hug and patted my back. I told her that it was ok to cry, etc. I started crying a little bit later again and she said, "Oh, no. Again! Mommy sad again" and handed me a kleenex.
Tonight we're having dinner with some good friends. We haven't gotten together with them for a few weeks and I'm really looking forward to it ... it's always a good time. We have many of the same ideas and philosophies on life and raising children. They have the same kind of parenting style that we do (high expectations, consistency, no chaos, etc.) so it's enjoyable for our children to be together.
Ok. Soon ... pictures and videos. Right? Blogs are so borrring without them and I'm super sorry for that.

• I find it mind baffling, odd, interesting, confusing, intriguing ... you get what I'm going for here ... that people risk getting duped over and over and over again. I get the forgiveness thing. I'm all about second chances (helloooo. look at me.), but really?
• Moving on ... We rearranged the nursery; moved the cradle out and put Freya in a big crib. They're so cute ... both in the same room in matching cribs. I'm always a little sad when we move the baby out of our bedroom, but happy to have our space back again. It's important to Nate and I to have our own room. I bought a video baby monitor that has a two-way speaker so we can speak to them in God-like fashion from across the house. I just hope it doesn't scare the crap out of them.
• This past weekend was FANtastic. We had friends over on Friday night and it was great. Now that Nate's schedule has calmed down we can do more of that. This makes my extroverted self very happy. We had people over that we hadn't had over before and it was so fun. Good food, good music, good conversation and more. It was a perfect evening. Oh, and I have a little wine tip for you. If you buy box wine (wine in a box? i know, i was skeptical, too.) get the Franzia Crisp White. If you buy the Franzia Chablis you will be very, very sad.

That's about all for now. This week is busy as I've been asked to work extra hours. I do love my job so that makes it better, but I love my family more. I'm just SO thankful I don't have to work full-time.
Take care. Much love.

That hotter than hades weather was driving me nuts. We finally broke down and turned the AC on. It's supposed to be cooler the next couple of days so we can open the windows again. Good. I can' wait for Fall ... how many more days?
We got a bigger dining room table from our neighbors. It expands to seat 10 people ... we have a real dining room now!! We are having a few friends over for dinner tomorrow night and I'm so excited that we can all sit around the table. No more busting out the card table and extra chairs. As classy and convenient as that was.
Ok. There's so much weirdness going on right now. I'm not sure where to begin.
Hhmmmmm. So, my ex-husband has been arrested and is in jail until his trial in October unless someone bails him out before then. (I feel free to share this on my blog because it is now public knowledge ... printed in the paper). His financial indiscretion is finally catching up with him it seems. Since his arrest I have been contacted by several people seeking understanding, etc. (I talked at length to one of them this morning) I'm going through so many emotions. I find it refreshing to "clear the air" and to help others make sense of what's happening. Ex puts on such a good show, most people are dumbfounded and never saw it coming, others are not surprised yet still extremely disappointed/confused.
I always wanted so much more for him than he wanted for himself. It's tough when you love someone that refuses to change. I lived through so much pain with him (beyond just the financial realm).
It's the same old, same old. What's happening right now is nothing new to me (or him) and I'm saddened by the realization that he may always remain enslaved to his own desires.

I'm so thankful for the life I lead now. There are no secrets in this house.

And to end with a little bit of happiness ...

EDIT: Jeremy and Carey lost their triplets this morning. I cannot fathom how they must feel.
********
Some college friends are in the eye of storm these days. Carey is 21 weeks pregnant with triplet boys, is having contractions and losing amniotic fluid. She is also in a lot of pain. The prognosis is grim and to be frank, they need a miracle.
Last night Nate and I held each other and prayed for this little family with tears in our eyes. Tears of sorrow. Tears of hope. Tears of thankfulness for God's peace.
Their website is: http://www.tipsontriplets.wordpress.com Take a few minutes to read it, if you can.
Also, Nate's cousin has a friend that just had a baby. Baby Samuel. http://www.gofundme.com/Baby-Samuel He is having health problems in the NICU and needs our prayers. If everything goes well (healing, surgeries, lack of infection, etc.) he should be home by the end of the summer. He has a long road ahead of him.
I can't imagine losing my baby(s). I can't imagine what Carey is going through as she lays in the hospital, praying for her body to stop the contractions and for all of her boys to survive. I can't imagine what it must be like for Samuel's parents to have a tiny baby and not be able to hold him ... to not be able to kiss all over his tiny face and snuggle him as he sleeps.
I have been reminded of the fragility of life over the past few days and my petty concerns pale in comparison to what others are facing.
These days are fleeting and even the 1 a.m. spontaneous Freya feeding or 5 a.m. thunderstorm that scares Mazie awake has a particular sweetness, made even sweeter over the past few days.
I must treasure these times ... treasure these times.

Mazie really loves taking care of Freya

(I highly recommend that bottle. It's called Breastflow and is great for breastfeeding Moms that use bottles. I love it.)