Yesterday I ran into a fellow mom as I was out and about and I walked away feeling rather lame. She, as usual, along with our mutual mom friends was dressed in trendy fashion and looking fit as a fiddle. I, on the other hand, was wearing yoga pants and a comfy long-sleeve looking like I just downed a bag of salt. I felt like an awkward, inept sloth. This group of mom folk don't include me in their social outings and I initially react to this like a jr. high girl ... and then I put down my Finesse aerosol hairspray and Exclamation! perfume and get a grip on present-day reality. I'm sure it's not personal. I mean, I'm pretty sure. Mostly.
I really hate insecurity (as I would assume most people do) as it only takes away from pleasant experiences and puts all the focus back on myself. I was so self-conscious during our interaction that I barely even noticed her ... I was focused on my own short-comings. Satan knows exactly what buttons to push. I oughta punch him in the gut.
Also, eating disorders are a real bummer.
Ok, so I haven't had the best past 24 hours. BUT, I tried really hard today to reset my priorities and give the hurt and angst over to Him. I'm feeling better.
Plus, when I picked the girls up after work (I work every Tues) my Mom had them in clean diapers and jammies. THEN when I got home I noticed that sweet Nate had taken the trash out, put the dishes away and folded the laundry and put it away as well.
I'm an extra lucky girl. I'm so well taken care of. Negative thoughts about myself diminishes the beauty around me.
I also want to clarify (about the post before this one) that I don't have a scale at my house that works. Remember Nate hid it from me upon my request? I was at my parents' house and used theirs. I'm sure theirs weighs differently than mine at home did so I may not have actually gained 10 pounds. My clothes don't feel like I have. Either way ... I need to stay off the scale. I said to Nate, "I'm so frustrated because so-and-so doesn't do anything and she is so thin and here I am working so hard with little result." To which he replied, "This is not about what you weigh. This is about what you do, and what you do is outstanding." ZING! Nate is so awesome. Overcoming bulimia is the highest priority right now. Not losing weight.

Nate and Mazie during the antique car parade that went past our house

Potty training is going great! No accidents in about four days. She still wears her diaper at naps and bedtime though. We started some preschool (homeschool) last week. She learned the letter 'A'. It was so fun teaching her because she is so curious and wants to learn.
Freya clapped, said "yay" and pulled herself up today. All in one day ... she doesn't mess around. Nate's mom was here for a visit and it was cool that she got to witness it. Freya is a little ham ... that girl is hilarious.
Nate starts his internship tomorrow! Super exciting!
Blah. I've gained 10 pounds. Apparently you can't tell because Nate and my mom were surprised by this. A few things have happened 1) the gym was closed for a week and I didn't exercise at all 2) I've been eating when I'm not hungry = more calories 3) I didn't think my thyroid stuff was helping so I quit taking it. I'm not sure how much of a factor it played, but I'm back on it again.
I still haven't gone to see Ann (nutritional therapist) because I feel bad about the expense. Nate is encouraging me to go anyway because it's important. I know I need to meet with her and get some guidance on how to re-group, etc.
Gotta run. It's time for some 24 ... we're on Season 6 (of 8) right now. I'm not sure what we're going to do with ourselves once we've watched all of them. WHAT WILL WE DO?????

Cerulean Beer Garden

I'm not sure what prompted this, but it's a dance party!

Mazie blowing bubbles when it was excrutiantingly hot outside

Audrie and Jack (The Winey's kids)

A recent pic of me taken by Nate, who forgot to include my face

Nate's paid internship went through!!!!!!!!!! SO very relieved. Now he doesn't have to find a job, I don't have to work more hours and we won't have to pull money out of savings every month! Plus, he really wanted this particular internship. The flattering thing is that two other organizations were pulling for him to come "work" for them! I'm so proud of him! He's proactive, responsible, level-headed, honest, funny and kind. And seriously, extremely attractive. I'm just so in love with him. So in love!!!!
This photo has nothing to do with Nate's awesomeness, but I saw it up in my photo strip and realized that I never posted it.

I sat this mango on the counter and then went on with my business ... when I came back I noticed that a little mouse (named Mazie) had gotten to it.

So, I've decided to give cloth diapers a go-round again. I feel so guilty spending money on 'sposies and filling up the landfills. I've been working on figuring these gDiapers out that were gifted to me by a friend. I'm so inept. She said I could sell them and buy something different if I wanted (um, how generous and sweet is she??) so I spent a teeny bit of money on good ol' fashioned pre-folds and waterproof pants. Super cheap, super easy .... hope they super work.
I was showing Nate what I ordered and going into way too many details and he said, "This is the kind I wore. I know what you're talking about." I was like, "Oh, yeah. And you remember?"
Tomorrow night we're having people over for dinner and stuff. Can't wait!

Samson wanted to be part of the action

Freya

Mazie

Pooh Movie
Mazie didn't want to leave

At the 4H fair

The car has been purchased, insured, registered and cleaned. It's all ours!! We're still overwhelmed by the generosity of our friends.
We will find out tomorrow whether or not Nate will have the internship position. Oh, I hope this happens .... it's a job and an internship all in one.
It's been fantastic having Nate home on the weekends.
Weekend recap:
Friday - Bought the car and went to the BMV, Nate had coffee with a friend.
Saturday - Mazie, my mom and I went grocery shopping, Nate stayed home with Freya. The Wineys came over for dinner, more people came over and we all stayed up way too late and had a super amount of fun.
Sunday - Nate went to church with us for the first time in over a year, we spent the afternoon at my parents', now we're watching tv, WNIT is showcasing Warsaw/Winona Lake. It's pretty interesting. Now I want to visit The Remnant Trust ... I mean, it's just down the hill!
Here are some pics from my birthday party. It was supposed to be a combined party with our friend, Benson (who is like our surrogate son), but he had to go out of town but we brought him along anyway.

Benson at dinner

Nate!

Mazie helped me blow out the candles

Rupp, Fricke and Laura

Mazie and Grandpa

Awesome present from my parents

This is what it looks like in our living room

Dr. B discussing things with Benson

Lisa and Laura

Jason and I

I'm not sure why Mindy was so sad

Fricke and I hanging out with Benson

Josiah and Benson

Justin and I

Lauren and Laura

Birthday girl. Open your eyes!

What a roller coaster.
Here goes ... our Jeep died about two weeks ago so we had it towed to Monteith. When we picked it back up Nate noticed that the gas gauge had quit working. Soooo, we took it back to them and they blew us off and said it was just a coincidence that it stopped working while it was in their hands. Um. Huh. We couldn't prove that it was their fault so we just dropped it. (and now I'm mad at them for always )
Our friends from church let us know they had a car for sale and offered for us to take it for a test drive, etc. I love this car. It's so cute and fits our family perfectly. We took it to be inspected (Not at Monteith. Never again.) and they said that it was in great condition, but that the timing chain was rattling. They weren't sure if that was because it was low on oil or not so our friends got the oil changed and we took the car back in today for further inspection.
In the meantime, Nate was notified about the intern position (see post below).
The mechanic called us today and said the timing chain was fine! Despite this great news we called our friends and told them we just couldn't buy the car until we knew more about jobs, finances, etc. They texted us about 20 minutes later and offered the car to us for over half the price!!!!!
THEN Nate was notified by the Department Head at school that there is an 80% chance his internship position will be approved after all! She was very sorry about the way things went down and we're feeling much better about the entire incident. Nate is going to speak with one of the profs on Monday to clear the air. (Those counselors ... always talking things out. )
What a day!!
What all of that rambling means: We are buying the car (and will still have money to live on for the next several months in case Nate doesn't find a job) AND he will possibly have the paid internship position that we were counting on (in which case he won't need a job because the internship and job are one in the same).
We're picking the car up tomorrow and heading to the BMV. Nate will know about the internship by Monday.
Through all of this Nate and I have felt both angry and sad, yet at peace. We knew that God had something in store for us and we knew, without a doubt, that our needs would be met.

Running on faith!

That last sentence reminds me of this song. Boy, does this one bring back memories.

Nate's school informed him today, a week before school starts ... via an email, that the internship positions have been eliminated. Now he has neither an internship nor a source of income. REALLY, Grace? Oh, and we still need to buy a car. I'm wondering what we're supposed to be learning from all of this. It better be really, really good!
Right now we're living off of our savings and my part-time job. Good thing we're not materialistic.

I had a fabulous birthday party. I'll post some pics soon.
This morning I had to clean up Mazie's first stomach flu mess. It was so sad ... I was rocking Freya to sleep and Mazie walked in to the nursery and got sick in front of me. She was crying, "I don't feel good." I put Freya in her walker and got Mazie changed and into the bath. Mazie cried in the bathtub because her "room was a mess now". She is such a sweetie. I assured her that I would clean it up and it would be fine. I got things cleaned up, Mazie changed and Freya down for her nap.
My FB status: Mazie is sick. I just cleaned up her first stomach flu mess and survived. It's in these moments, as I'm on my hands and knees scrubbing the nursery floor, that I realize all the things my Mom did for me ... with a sweet attitude and loving spirit.

Mazie with her "sick bowl" (just in case), enjoying her
special tv privileges.

My birthday present from my parents!!

This is Nate and I's first weekend at home together in over a year!!!!!!!! No more weekend job!!! I started the day off with a little run, er ... slow jog. It was so beautiful out.

Today is my birthday day! We haven't gotten chance to celebrate my birthday yet ... so today's the day. We're having dinner at my parents' and then going out on the town. I'm so super excited. I bought some new jeans and was really depressed that I had to keep grabbing a bigger size until I realized that I was shopping in the juniors section, or something like that.
Oh, and about our car ... we took it to Monteith for a new distributor cap, etc. and when we got it back the gas gauge wasn't working. So, we took it back to them and explained that it WAS working when we brought it in and they said, "Sorry. Not our fault. Must be a coincidence." ARE YOU KIDDING ME? So thoroughly ticked off right now. Bunchajerks. Now we have a car with a non-working gas gauge that needs fixing. Thanks.
There is a car that we are thinking about purchasing. Some friends from church are selling it and it's super adorable. Apparently Nate thinks that an abundance of cuteness is not an adequate reason to purchase said car without having it inspected. We took it in to get inspected and it got a good report, except for one major potential problem. We're in the process of getting that all worked out. I really HATE spending our savings on a new car, but ours doesn't really fit our family ... especially if we have a third baby.
Yesterday I stood in line at the store for.ev.er. The cashier was insanely slow and I lost so much precious time ... just standing there, staring at her in awe. Patience is a virtue.

I know I said I was going to keep my birthday party small this year, but somehow it just kept growing. That's what happens when you're popular, I suppose. So, big birthday bash on Saturday night!
I took some melatonin to help me sleep (I haven't been sleeping well lately) so I'm too sleepy to go on. I have things to share. Car stuff. Work stuff. Workout stuff, etc. Pictures. Videos.
Xanga needs more love.
Good night!