November 17, 2011

• Ok, back to our regularly schedule programming ...

  Master Cleanse

  Day One - I have been feeling soooo bad for the past several weeks. I've been so tired and miserable that I've taken two pregnancy tests bc I thought maybe that would explain it. I feel like I'm old ... my muscles and joints ache all the time and I'm so sore when I get up in the morning. I feel overwhelmed by little things and I feel low. Very low. I need a serious detox. This first day hasn't been too bad ... it's strange to not eat. I'm really hungry and craving food, but I know this will pass. I just want to feel ok again.
  Day Two - Today was rougggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh. I worked all day (around all my favorite "healthy" foods) and was craving them so badly. I was hungry, so tired and OH, the headache. I know these are symptoms of detox. This evening I just laid on the couch with Nate because I was too pooped (which reminds me ... we are also drinking a laxative tea) to do much else. I hope tomorrow is better. HEY, I almost forgot ... my muscles and joints aren't feelings as bad today though. I feel like I gained a few decades back.
  Day Three - Hallelujah!!!!!!!! Today I practically bounced out of bed. Quite a change from the past few weeks. There were mornings in there where I told Nate, "I don't think I can even get up. I'm so tired ... pregnancy tired. and I'm miserable" But, this morning I felt like my real self again. I was still super hungry, but the cravings are subsiding and I had SO much more mental clarity.
  I told Nate that I felt like I had fibromyalgia or something like that (unexplained pain that the pharmaceutical company has so conveniently made a super expensive pill for ... once again, treating the symptom, not the problem. don't get me started. watch out! mama's getting riled!) bc I hurt so much all the time ... it's AMAZING what a change in diet can do. I wonder how many hundreds (thousands?) of people could eradicate this type of thing with a simple diet change. Stop eating crap and take a walk. I bet many lives would be changed.
  Also, this cleanse has been so different for me since I'm not focusing (or even really caring) about weight loss or trying to feel like a "good" person because I'm restricting. I'm doing this simply bc I feel like death and want it to end. You know, the actual real reason for doing a cleanse.
  And a quick word about the tea I mentioned above ... I swung by Owen's to get some more this evening and decided on the chocolate flavor. I have a strong, very strong suspicion that this tea is not going to hit the spot tonight. Herbal, chocolate laxative tea? Hhhmm. I'm really, really hoping the tea tastes like a Snickers bar, but I feel like we're in for a big disappointment. (Please taste like Snickers.)
  Day Four - So, it didn't taste like a Snickers, but what can I do? Nate said he had no expectation whatsoever so he was disappointed. I feel about the same as I did yesterday. The atrocious headache came again, but left by early afternoon. My tongue is nasty. My breath is bad. Just being honest here, folks. I have a thing about bad breath ... I despise it. As I was tucking Mazie in for her nap this afternoon she covered her face and said, "Too close, Mommy." Haha. Mommy's detoxing. Nate just got home from studying and, upon my request he reluctantly smelled my breath. He said, "Yep. Smells bad. Like not good. Thank you making me do that ...." Can't WAIT to get all the nasty out of my body. Kinda scary to think about what's lurking inside the body of someone that's never done a fast or cleanse. Yikes. So, it's time to take off my real pants and don some cozy ones, fold some diapers and relax. (And keep my mouth closed, apparently.)
  Day Five - Still feeling about the same. Headache, tired and so on. I'm pretty unmotivated. One of the reasons behind this lack of giddyup is because I'm doing this for the right reasons. What? See, being restrictive and losing weight has always brought about a sense of "I'm ok" and self-worth. The more I grow in Christ the less I use these fruitless things for a false sense of security and contentment. This time around I'm losing weight, I'm sticking to the plan yet I don't really feel any better about myself. This is a good thing. Diet, exercise, etc. isn't where I am to be finding my identity. Anyway, fantastic recovery group tonight ... those ladies are so dear to me. I hope I feel better tomorrow. Or I'm calling Papa Johns.
  Day Six - So, I woke up feeling like doo. I felt lightheaded and unbelievably tired. My heart was spanky. I told Nate it felt like it used to when I'd been binging/purging for several days. Like my electrolytes were all out of whack or something. I decided to drink some coconut water we had in the fridgie and down some organic OJ. WOW. I feel sooooooooooo much better. I FEEL GREAT. We decided to lay off the lax tea (But, it was so tasty!?) and instead take something else I have on hand that's not a stimulant laxative like senna. My hunger has subsided and the cravings are better. ALSO, my breath is better. (Nate smelled it again for me. Isn't he the best?) Yay for brave, breath-smelling husbands and yay for feeling like a million dollahs!!
  Day Seven - Today was the best one yet. The constant pain in my neck/shoulders is finally gone, as is my headache! I think I've moved to the other side of detox now. I'm still really hungry though which is surprising considering that most hunger pangs should be gone within the first 3-4 days. Nate and I decided to start transitioning back to a normal diet tomorrow. Tomorrow's meals will consist of organic broth and juice. Jealous, are you? Saturday and Sunday will be veggies and fruits. It's best to transition back to food slowly. I didn't the last time I did this cleanse and it was painful. I'm really, really looking forward to eating with a spoon tomorrow. Broth never sounded so good.

  • 7:36 pm
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